my secret empire.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

1:38 PM

..its been so long`

haha. yes i know. been ages since i last blogged.
haha. when was that ? laast thursday ? ahha.
and today's wednesday. but its all good.

nothing much have been going on for me lately.
haha busy with my own sobber life.
SOBBER ? nonono. just boredom.

let's see; last friday.
went sheng-shiong shopping for the chalet
stuffs at night with meyaa, her mom and nana
and of course, plus my mom. (:
bought a lot of stuffs.
chicken, prawns, nutella, butter, etc.

then saturday.
it was the chalet. sleptover and had helluva FUN!
haha. oh yes, sat and chatted with him
and sorted things out. it was all a misunderstanding!
and im so glad things are for the better now.
cheerios!~

sunday.
we bbq-ed in the marning. okay, afternoon.
then crapped. slept. crapped. danced
with the girls -qah, nana, meya and me.
and then when night fell, it was time to go home.
met with an accident along the way.
all fine now.

monday.
boring day. anticipating to go for my job
interview on tuesday. while rotting away and home
as normal. but was uber tired from the chalet
and slept the whole day.

tuesday.
JOB INTERVIEW!! seems like it's confirmed.
cool. (: i wish i wish me and dee would have
the same branch/outlet then we can work
together gether. then i wont be bored. =\
and after interview, met up with the guys
and headed to esplanade.
dee and izz went off aft that,
me and him go meet meya to get her bday
present. (belated la gituu)
and then he went off, i joined the rest;
meya, nana, qah, asanul, sharul and his friend.
then they left, the girls go shop a little
and headed home.

today
BOREDOM! ive been having sickening stomach
aches/cramps and ive been shitting non-stop.
argh. diorrearhea. WHATEVER THE SPELLING IS.
and i hate it lor. i wna bath and eat and then LALALA.
im bored. okay bye!!

; BEE. -i miss you. ):

Thursday, December 15, 2005

12:53 PM

what does it mean.. if you cry when that
special someone who was once in your life
came up to you again and tell you
that he still loves you ?

what does it mean.. if you cry when you
hold and took out the necklace, even though
its already broken and all rusty but you
still keep it nevertheless ?

what does it mean.. if you dont know
what to say to that special someone who was
once in your life when he told you all the
things that he went through to forget you ?

what would you do.. if that special someone
tells you that he's still waiting for you, but
you yourself is tangled up in a big big
mess that is still unsolved ?

what would you do.. if he tells you that he
cant ever forgive himself for letting go of the
girl that he cherished and loved the most
and was once his ?

tell me what do i do ? tell me what do i feel? im such in a terrible
loss. i feel so guilty. i feel so afraid. what would the others think ?
till when should i continue hurting others ? till when will this all
end ? till when i would just stick down and root myself to the ground ?
just till when ?

i never thought things would go this way for me.
something's wrong. something's not right.
i was given too much responsibilities at one time.
it's too much to bear. too much to handle.
i cant take it. i really cant.
what was god thinking ?
im not strong.
im totally not strong.
im weak.
so, weak.
very very
weak.
):

Bee.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

4:21 PM

sickklings-

sickklinggs.

oh yeh, the siblings are officially sick.
the brother's sleeping in his lair.
but the sister's busy doing her housechores.
we're both coughing and yeap,
down with fever.

ive got a throat infection.
he's got flu.

how good. :D

get well soon, sibbs !

so long,
Bee.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

4:21 PM

anyhoos, add me to starlightbeauty-@hotmail.com
for friendster okay! it's not my current msn account.
:)

LOVE,
Bee.

3:55 PM

-`take a look at me now*

let me show you what's HOT..

okay, so ive been away for so long.
been to Batam since friday to sunday.
i wanted to blog about batam when i
returned from Batam buuuuuttt,
im lazy.. as usual.

so sunday was resting day for Bee.
and i thought i could blog on monday.
bbbbbbbuuuuuttttt, i was sick.
i was goddamned sick.
i had a sore throat, my eyes was teary
and my body was sooooo hot, my brother
said that i swallowed down a fire cracker,
only waiting for me to explode..

dont worry about that, he's always like that.
SO, i was extremely weak, i thought i was dying.
and ayah so easily rubbed it in when he look
at the uncleaned house.
i was jelly okay, dad!
i cant do a thing, what do you expect ?
want to see me dead is it ?
raaaah`

so i slept through the whole afternoon.
and i think i got this virus from my brother.
i was pretty fine and all good the night before
and when that morning, last morning my brother
shifted rooms and slept with me,
he coughed into my face and i think
that's how i got the virus.
bloody brother.
- spits`

SO, went to the docs with mummy last night.
doctor said ive got a throat infection.
ouch. no wonder it hurts like fuckk. rahh`
its super red and my temperature was 38 deg.
well, for me it's high because my normal
temperature is 36.6 deg.
oh yeh, imma cold blooded. :D
my body ached like mad and i was totally weak.
it was after i bathed twice that my
temperature went down and i finally
got some energy to move about.

but im feeling better already.
the throat's still ubeeerrr sore and
i feel as though something's stuck in my throat.
whenever i swallow my saliva, i'll have to
"go through" and obstacle like that.
whoa.. like telematch eh. :D
so, yeah.. but my temperature's normal again. :)

speaking of telematch, it reminded me of Batam.
i've LOADS of pics but im just far tooo lazyy..
(i hope i dont get sick again)
maybe i'll just post the picture of the whole team
that went to Batam for this Dinner and Dance. :D

Bosch Rexroth & family

it's not that clear, but yeah. 170 people went.
Bosch Rexroth and family. :D
coolios. it was okay lar.
haha. dont want to say already. LAZY!!
didnt shop much actually.
it was plain foodstuffs as usual.
just bought myself sun shades and a blouse.
yeap, the one in the pic above.
now that's HOT. :D
"quoted by nuyul"

ohh and guys, my friendster's back. :D
thanks to nuyul AGAIN, who kept bugging me.
haha. and meya, the pikchas are not-so-hard
to upload now.
BUT RESIZING THEM is the bitch part.
love -`

okay, ive got to go take my antibiotics now.
before i forget and get sick all over again.
toodles~!`

ps// JAA; you didnt even tell me youre going off
and now you told me youre back ? URMPH!!*
[ i still love you ]-

Thursday, December 8, 2005

2:53 PM

The good Old Days..

Bee.

sometimes, thinking about the past is a good thing.
although the past consist of a lot of different
measures whereby it is not easy to believe your
joy, and not easy to forget totally something that's
already grown so attached and so deep into you.

im not saying that im so amazed by my past that
im writing/blogging about this stuffs right now.
okay, so no one did.
but sometimes i feel that, when you close your eyes
and you see something that you know can never
come back to you or happen in your life again,
somehow or rather, you feel this emptiness,
this awkward feeling that's etched within your emotions.

and so much so that you dont have an explanation
for what that feeling was or how it felt like.
but as time goes by and there's still a thought that's
running through your mind,
you finally realised how much you missed the
moments spent, or even that someone special
that has made a mark in your life.

if you're thinking that im getting all emotional and teary,
or maybe missing someone so badly right now,
its not entirely true.
somehow, what im feeling right now, or rather,
the nights before this, is something that ive been wanting
to know, wanting to feel, wanting to find out
the truth, the exact, the ultimate answer.
but im not sure what the question was.
there's so many questions stuck in my head
and so many of them left unanswered.

they're just bothering me, telling me to go get
the answers but i dont even know where to start.
i dont even know what im looking for.
im at a loss, a state of confusion.
it's weird. its funny. its just.. different.
am i me ? or am i changing ?
its pretty surprising that im not an emotional wreck
anymore, the one ive became all these while.
it's cool to be or to get hold of something that you've
never thought you could do it, or overcome.

funny why nurool is blogging about this
type of thing now, isnt it ?
but i think that today's entry, (probably the last one)
is something that ive finally came to a point
where i can assemble my thoughts and just
type it down here. everything..
pardon me if you guys dont decipher me.
im just pouring my deepest thoughts.
for i dont think being happy and masking all
along is the best yet.
once or twice, i should take that mask away
and tell the world who i really am..
someone who's not made up of only happy
moments and more laughters.

on a grave note, i end today's entry with a little
little leak of my very cramped mind.

"the world does not make space for us to fit in. neither does it makes us fit in without space. it's funny how the world go round and round but the people dont fall off the globe. that's god's creation.. and my feelings, and my life.. those are my creation.."

signing off, folks. im off to Batam tomorrow.
take care and lots of love,

Bee.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

11:16 PM

Another boring day..

Bee. Keem.

days have been boring for me these days.
today's Meya's sweet sixteen and i cant make
it to have a mini celebration with her.
all because mummy doesnt allow me to go out
BECAUSE BigMomma is here.

im not blaming BigMomma for being the cause
"indirectly" that i cant go out.
its just that, im stuck and am put in a spot.
blahh, and i have no choice, anyways.

but anyways,
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY SWEETEST SIXTEEN TO UMAIRAH ABDULLAH, my sister, my darling, my everything. I LOVE LOVE YOU. may god bless you forever and ever with the most sweetest and sugary life with chocolate and cherry on top. :D MUACKS!

so, today was yes, another boring day.
hogged the net in the afternoon, and it got
BigMomma pretty mad.
she claimed that the internet has bad stuffs
that can lead you to a different path..
yes, gmum's that philosophic.

but the fun part is we [mummy.BigMomma.keem.Bee],
went to shop at Lot 1 for slippers actually.
but ended up carrying bags of different different
stuffs home, for this friday's departure to Batam.
Yes, im going batam! yes yes.
with elis, too. (ayah's daughter)
cool, aye ? Cool.

and i finally got that flowery flowery sandals at Bata
that i caught my eyes on earlier last month.
yeapp! another strike-off off my wishlist. :D
thanks mummy. hee*
and actually, i wanted to get a top from giordano
but i got myself a mini cardigan instead.
and its hot pink. (ohmigosh)
the black's one out of stock. raah.

"kau tu tk boleh pakai puteh.. tak sampai satu hari da kotor.."

well its true la. i cant wear white for long.
indeed i LOVE that colour. but, im just..
..not a white-wearer la.
if you must ask me to wear white,
i'd rather you ask DEE. you might want to
take a peek in her wardrobe of tops.
ALL WHITE, to be nearly exact.

im totally opposite dee la.
but im ironic too. hate pink but i just bought
a pink mini cardigan. see what i mean ?
haha. typical nurool. Bee. whatever you call me lar.
:D

Friday - Sunday [091205 - 111205] : Batam Trip.
dont miss me too much guys. love you all*

// lili! sorry i cant go out. i would love to catch that
marathon we planned long time ago. but i cant. i
really cant. sorry k. and oh yea, sorry i said those
things last night. maafin deh! :D hugs* //

Bee.

Monday, December 5, 2005

5:01 PM

sorry people.. it's this pikcha that we took in the night.

People!

US* - night!

[i cant seem to edit the previous post.. dno why..]

Bee.

3:40 PM

HOLLA!!

yes yes, im not dead yet. xD
so sorry for the lack or the veryyy long
absence of this queen BEE here.
well, i admit ive been lazy and plus,
there's just a lot of things that's been
going on these few days.

of course, the first one being Bee&Jaa's outing!
as you know im a lazy poker to upload
SO many pikchas at one time,
(especially when there's millions of it),
i might as well show you guys a thousand
pikchas in one nice one.
a million words in a thousand word.
did you guys get that one ? uhh.. go figure. xD

Bee.Jaa Outing. :)

SO, it was ubeeeerrrr fun. yes, honest.
started out with sushi, which we never planned,
then a little walk here and there,
then catched chicken little.
YES, on 30 nov 2005.
the day before it was premiered.
are you surprised ? no ?
well i am. because they normally dont show
movies before they begin and when we saw
"Chicken Little - 4.15pm", Jaa and I were like,
OMG!! YEAY!! ~~-jumps off the building-~~
okay that was dramatic.

after the movies, head down to scotts centre
for our coffee beans!! yes, it was supposed to
be the Coffee Beans date with Lela.., remember ?
and furthermore, it was all a waste had we not
used the voucher. because the due ends today
and i dont think Jaa will go out like, today ?
haha. (slap me and tell me im wrong, Jaa)
after movies, coffee beans, it was cam-whoring mo.
xD well, it's all in that collage up there.
and i tell you, that's only one-seventh of the
actual amount of pikchas that we took. :D

..who were we talking about ?

we headed home after that and you know, went
separate ways. that's sad.
because im left all alone to go home in the train,
all the way from yio chu kang to yew tee.
so, what did i do ?
i texted lili to call me and when he did, i sang
the ubbeerrr adictive, chicken little theme song
on the phone to him.
and i swear i didnt feel the slightest awkwardness
when i done so. ha-ha.
ma ia hee. ma ia huu.. ma ia hoo.. ma ia haa haa..
i love the fish. do you, Jaa ? -blob blob-

..ace, abby.. ace, abby.. ace, abby.. xD

and so, the day was ~~saved~~ ended and so
does the story and the date with my Jaa.
it was marvellous and i ubbeeer love it, Jaa.
i love you too! loads and heaps of shit trucks. xD

..he, moo. she, moo. them, moo. us, moo.
ohh i love chicken little. xD

031205 - housewarming for the good cliques

indeed, i was pretty disheartened that some of
the people that i really expected to come didnt
turn up. but oh wells, i cant force or do anything.
but it was altogether fun, still.
and of course, veryy fattening. :)
what more could i say ? there was LOADS
of food and more more food.
mummy and BigMomma were the chefs
and little miss queenBEE, me, was the
all-rounder for the day.
well i was the one who went back and forth
to the shop to get groceries (and i think the
person who were at the cashier got pretty mad
because i always went like, "aunty.. aunty..
faster faster.. late already..")

..typical nurool. xD

and i was also the one who arranged the tables
and chairs outside the house.
stapled the plastic sheet on the table, and
THEN the skirting of the table.
my gosh, it was ubbberr painful you know.
my palms were litterally hot red from those
labour work. (whoa, labour.. coolie eh? haha.)
okay skip the bullcrap here, aight.

then, the friends of the royal bee came. xD
first were the twins from peirce ! ooh man.
it's been so helluva long since i met them.
and i almost couldnt recognise them because
they already wore scarfs on their head.
"kan wajib pe pakai tudung.. kite start pakai
two days before a maths paper.."
yea.. the twins. "it was a saturday night.."
i wonder where they went on that fateful
saturday night with their scarfs. :D

housewarming 031205

syahidah. Big Momma. me. syahirah.

later in the evening, even more people came to
my humble (but still royal) palace. :D
and of course, with people like,
dee. huda. syu. riah. mubz. siti. liyana.
tell me what is it that we want to do ?
TAKE PICTURES OF COURSE!!
and here's a small little some-thing that we took.

the cam-whorers. :)

US*- evening. (too bad hafiz and j3 jamilah went off already.. : )

when the night switched shifts with the day,
there was another group of friends who arrived ! :D
(and to think nurul wanted to "trick" me. FAT HOPE !)
yea, they were nurul. nana. lili. abi.
nurul and nana were wearing baju kurongs.
i was wondering why too. :D
but still, we didnt forget to take pictures.
and oh yeh! bad and his mom (plus two of his cousins
and one aunt) came also!
so, we stuck him in our cam-whoring moments too.

girls&boys.

US* - night :D

ehhe. cool aye ? well, the day was wrapped
up with emy !! she helped my family to clean
up the house, the mess more like.
and i ended going to the 7-11 with her to
get apple juice. :D oh emy, thanks for the help.
i love you !
AND THANKS TO THOSE THAT COULD
COME AND SAVOUR THE FOOD !! :D
I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO!

[041205] mubz & bee :) cum
philwinds concert @ esplanade

firstly, THANK YOU MUBZ for accompanying
me to the esplanade to watch the concert with me.
"Philharmonic Winds goes Pop!"
oh my god, it was fAnTabuLOuSo!, i tell you.
it was really value for money : 5 out of 5 points.
cool cool. wayy cool. marvellous. BEAUTFUL!
worth all the bucks and cents we scrapped for.
ahh. and, congratulations to my beloved
ex-conductor, MR ADRIAN CHIANG.
you were great on stage and you made a nice
solo and performance. ohh ubbeerr cool. :D
and im soo glad he remembered me.

..ooh, and the two and a half solid hours of
the entire performance was waaay waaay
damn worth it. ohh i love it. :D
my dream band.. if only i could get in..

Adrian Chiang. Bee.

The beloved Mr Chiang & Bee. - he looks tired. :D

of course, before the show, mubz and i
met waay earlier first to get a little something
for my beloved mr chiang. :D
it was a plush pillow dog and its ubbberr cute.
bought it at the happy house @ citylink mall.

cute isnt it ? it was $24.90. mubz and i shared it. :D

andd while waiting for the clock to strke 7.15 pm,
we went to the esplanade rooftop to take loadarf
pictures here and there, just everywhere.
and trust me, mubz was spontaneous. :D
proud of you, mubz!

Mubz. Bee. :D

Mubz. Bee. :D

after the concert, we went to Jurong East
to get some late supper and fill our tummies.
had kfc at 11 pm! chickkenn. :D
and headed home after that.
well i was tired you know..
but the wholeeeee day cheered me up.
especially the philwinds concert.
i love you, philwinds. greatt job!
yeay~*

sky

the passion for music within me is ..sky high. -lovely.

Bee.