i was damn early for school today.
it was 8:10am and im in school already.
WOW, i was that scared.

planned to meet carisa at 8.30am to run through
the whole dressing procedure and everything.
because my prac exam was at 9am.
oh my gosh, i couldnt get enough of trying to make
sure that everything's in my head.

and not falling off..

it was scary.
the wait,
outside the room.

wowh, i was freaking out a hell lot.
like, sweat trickling down my forehead,
and i was respirating so hard.
i couldnt stand the heat man,
it was bloody intense.

i felt like i could almost piss in my pants!

the moment i saw sharon fung walking out
of the room, my breath paused for three seconds.
I NEVER FELT ANY MORE AFRAID.
i swear it was damn scary..
because i was losing everything in my head already!

carisa, steve were like telling me, it's okay la nurool!
dont worry! you can one!
yes..

i wish i could breath easy..ly
but i cant, in fact i couldnt even keep up with myself.
oh, i was turning hypoxia.


hahaha, guess what, i was sweating like a pig!
MY GOSH, traumatised man!

but i guess luck was really on my side today? (:
i guess i got the EASIEST case study ever, la!
((:!

round wound & oral medication.

haha, okay oral medication was no exception i guess
but because i need to only serve HALF a tablet,
i was pretty more relaxed already (:

oh i guess i almost failed oral medication?
CAUSE I ALMOST SERVED MY PATIENT
WHEN HE WAS LYING DOWN.
hahaha, kesian seh, later my patient choke!

LOL!

how silly.. and i guess it's these kind of sillyness
that have to make the lecturers fail us.

okay i guess ive spilled the beans. (:
I PASSED PRACTICAL EXAM!

((:!
oh i swear i cant be any happier and more relieved.
carisa was smiling from outside the room already.
hahaha, thanks babes for your "morning sacrifise".

i WUV you!
and haha, your macdonald's treat! ((:
sankyou agains hor!
♥♥

anyways, my dressing was okay.
except that i was really shaky.
damn my nervousness la.
it was crazily overwhelming!! )):!

but it was okay,
especially for the fact that i passed!!
((: whee.


and to those who didnt really make it?
im really sorry okays.
when the "friday" comes,
do it better kays! ((:
GOOD LUCK DARLINGS!!

so then carisa & i had mcd for breakfast.
yummeh and hoho, satisfying though.


and after configuring the laptop for the school's wireless,
we headed down to J8 to..

GET MY WEDGES FROM BATA!!

haha, ive been setting my dear pretty eyes on it for
quite a bit of a while now ((:
and finally i got it.

i wanted to get the red polka dots one,
but carisa said the black looks waaaay hotter.
so i took it!

now that mom's tried on it, hahaha
guess what?
SHES GNA GET THE RED ONE!
wheee. ((:

okay, even my AUNT tried on it already.
my shoes have officially lost it's virginity.
HOHO.

excuse me for being a little high okay.
im just very elatedd.



but then again, i wish i could express myself more.
like, share my happiness a bit more?
haha, like as if this is not enough.
:p

damn, i shouldnt la.
i just shouldnt have la..


sigh, now it's not getting any better.
im such a fool.
a LOVE FOOL.

`Bee

THANK GOD psychology is OVER.

i feel psychotic enough already thinking about how
im supposed to answer the questions with very
little and minimal studying.

the first few pages of the paper was okay.
but i wasnt.
sheesh, i seemed so distracted.
okay one was for the fact that i dont know
my answers.

two?

..it was for the fact that i cant help realising how
donus (our new psycho lecturer) is so.... different.
hahah, maybe all new people in your life are.

but donus is different.
already his name sounds funny (not really anyone can
pronounce his name right for the first time)

"..is it donus (donut) or donus (donnous)..?"

beats me.
but next he got a really different look for a male lecturer.
hahah, probably different reason being he's much younger
than my other lecturers namely Dr Yong and Dr Bryan Chua (swoons).

but still, he's got this two really deepset dimples that he
loves showing off by clasping his two lips together
(so that the dimple would show)
which eventually "fade his dimple away" - nikki.

hahaha.


i feel better today (:
well, as compared to yesterday that is.

thanks for your assurance and support, people.
im kinda touched that you guys took the time to reply
me such cute yet really helpful advices. (:

awwright, so now i know how the "transition of maturity" goes.
im feeling much better already!

AND SO,
tomorrow is the big day.
9AM outside H.404,
i'll be sweating like a pig, at the same time,
trying to regurgitate all the facts that i've (hopefully)
memorised by tonight to carisa,
feeling all anxious and sucky because im so damn afraid.

OH OH, im so scared already!
i shall be studying my brains off for the rest of the night
and discard all the possible interruptions that i can get.

WISH me LUCK, humans.

good luck lela ismiley!,
good luck EMA!,
good luck me!,
and good luck to the rest of the people doing their

PRACTICAL EXAM tomorrow!

oh, and HAPPY HAPPY SWEET 17th BIRTHDAY
to ema darla babes!! may you have many happy returns
and happy days to come!
dont be too bothered by things you know you dont have to bother.
alright? wish you all the best in your future endearvors and
I LOVE YOU! (:(:

`Bee.

i know im not supposed to be here,
blogging shit and all.
but im scared.
scared for my psychology tmrw.


BOO!

i hate the feeling of being scared
though i know i can do something to eradicate that feeling.
but i cant,

it's so different how im scared of everything
so goddamn easily.
unlike before?

i dont know why but i got to let this out.
sucks keeping something inside yourself for too long.

you'll go crazy.
and ive gone bonkers.


ITS JUST AN ICA.
but im scared shit.

THURSDAY'S MY PRACTICAL EXAM.
and im fucking shrunked.

MY TWO ICA PRESENTATIONS ARE NEXT WEEK!
gosh, tell me why im feeling nervous now?!


argh,
why, god, why do i feel different?
why do i feel as though im not the girl i used to be?

okay, except the fact that i hide more things than before,
i feel that ive changed within myself, too.
ALOT that is.

i dont know?
one of which that i mentioned is that im easily afraid now?

next,
MY PERSISTANCE.

i used to still quite care about how things go.
but now, im like the person who,
tries-really-hard-not-to-care-even-though-i-know-i-should
kinda girl?


okay, i hope youre feeling me.
but then again, you dont have to.



SHEESH, im feeling all awkward!

IS THIS PART OF PUBERTY?

thanks, send me the literature of "puberty" somebody. THANKS!


`Bee. - gone crazy.

fuck blogger la.
i just blogged a whole lot of things
and it's all gone.

ARGH.

tell me a reason again to not update regularly?

`Bee.

santa can you hear me?
i have been so good this year.
would you grant me a wish please?
i wish im feeling better..

from all that's happening.
from the things i have to go through.
for the life i never asked to be lived like this.
for the times i thought i had it but i didnt.
for the things i never asked for but am given.
for the cruelty of life that's shunned to me.
and all of the things i dont want to feel.

santa can you hear me?
i tried to be nice to everybody this year.
i maintained my cool but always being stepped on.
santa, im not complaining.
i just want my wish to be granted.

i wish you would know how i feel.
yes, you..

you, who i'd keep within me.
you, who i wont bug any further.

and you, the one that i...


santa, please answer me.
`Bee.

then we kept snapping
.
.
.

and we couldn't STOP snapping!
.
.
.

from holy to descending, we WENT ON AND ON
.
.
.

haha, tired already? it's not DONE!
.
.
.

if you're smart enough,
you should have guessed that those pictures
are all taken in ONE DAY
which is yesterday alone.

wait, i've got TODAY'S one too! (:
.
.
.

hoho, that's about it for today.
but before i leave,
let me leave you guys to these eyecandies!
.
.
.

HOHO, IM WARPED!!!

okay, toodles!
`Bee.

okay i know im a little too late for these wishes.
considering this is already almost the 3rd week of raya.
blame it on my camera to fall ill at the wrong time!
sigh- so now the WHOLE raya is not pictorially memorised.
but its okay (: raya's been okay for me.
except that it's been busy busy busy because of school and all.

oh, and i forgot how MANY houses we've been to!
since last year i didnt really travel along thanks to O Levels.
so yeahs, kinda tired of all the jalan-ing and of course,
the eatings! wah, fatness, here i come!

and speaking of which, my girls and i have decided to go back
for frisbee trainings! (: yayy to us.
i kindar miss frisbee actually.
the people and the trainings.
haha, im glad ive got some stress-relieving times now.
whee!

so you ask, "how's school/life/you?"
im okay.
school's been a bummerload of stress and work.
life's been toppling and shaky like milkshake.
wowh, it's been one helluva ride for me.
i hope i can handle this.

like you think you can handle me? hoho.

oh, and we had a match last wednesday.
we got into the semi finals but didnt make it to the finals.
haha, my team; alvin (captain), ct, js, marcus, carisa, nikki & i
we got the third position.
it was OKAY, good and all.
but sadly, medals only goes to the TOP TWO winners.

hah, so i smelt "KISS MY ASS" from the air when we lost
to bobby's team 10 - 1. FREAK.

they're good, la.
we've got no stamina.
and they.. okay, quit it.

im going back to frisbee for training! (:
wheee.

oh, did i tell you?

I FINALLY GOT MY PUMA BAG & JACKET!

okay, except that the Puma jacket aint in this picture. (:
im a happy happy nurool.
i didnt get the exact Puma jacket i want though.
it's men's collection but despite that even the smallest size
couldnt fit me nicely.
i look like some huge big puff diddy in it.
so i had to take the other one.
a black one with pink polka dots.

not really my kinda taste but i didnt mind considering it.
but then again, THEY DONT HAVE MY SIZE ANYWHR!
so i went on to take a pretty one which is striking green!
wooooo, i love green. hahaha. xD
and BROWN of course. (:

owh i shally shally show you pictures with the new jacket soon!

ANYHOWS, SCHOOL'S BEEN FUN TOO! ((:

ive got more pictures, dude.
it's all in Nikki's cellphone. hahaha.
shally shally post them more when ive got the time!

anyhooos, as for raya, i havent get a chance to go out
with my friends from primary NOR secondary school.
only one day to two of my poly friends' houses.
you know, it's not really happening this year.
when all's crammed up and stuff.
not fun. but still okay.
you know? hahaha. i know you know. (:

oh, i need a laptop.
but i suck.
& im a complete computer idiot.
FREAKZOID!

randomly LOVE*
`Bee.

im feeling so lethargic from school.
the hours, the timetable, the workload.
it's killing me big time.

plus the presentations & projects & exams.
they're all pouring in like nobody's business.
& the raya that's not ended yet.
with the rushing here & there to catch houses.

my brain is self desrupting soon.
HOHO. 10... 9... 8... 7...
but anyways, my birthday this year is the most SURPRISED!
haha, got surprised FIVE times.
i am so damn touched (:
LOVE EVERYONE OF YOU!!

oh, im really tired. apologies for apupdates.
will come up with them whenever i can.
LOVE*

`Bee.